They say that its wrong

I had written this some time ago, and the Section 377 of Indian Penal Code that reinstates the ban on gay sex reminded me of this.
It may be a little off context, but anyways, here it is.


_____________________

They say that its wrong
When my heart flutters when I see a girl
A girl with eyes that make me forget the world
Whose dimples make me want to curl up in them
And be lulled to sleep with the sound of her voice.

They say its unnatural, pronounce it illegal
But it doesnt feel like that, at all
Whenever her hand brushes against mine,
Anything that ever mattered ceases to have importance.

But they tell me it is wrong,
They tell me I need help,
They say that its all in my brain,
They want me to be cured of this
To avoid what I feel by forcing myself to love boys,
To cure a fracture by jumping off a cliff
To cure a headache by beating my head against the wall.

They dont want me to be with her,
They dont want me to smell her hair when she sits by my side
To feel her lips caress mine
To feel her hands on me, down there, everywhere,
Is my love any different?

All I want is to love without fear
The fear of judgement, the fear of punishment
The fear that my own people,
People who are supposed to give me my rights
Will take them away as if they're taking a candy from a child
But I won't be quiet
Even if they don't want me to speak

Theirs had been a love separated by time

Theirs had been a love separated by time.

They had loved each other from the day he called her name and the day she had laughed at the way he said it. They had loved each other through the boring maths lectures and the nervous walks by the lake. They had loved each other when she had chopped off her hair in distress and he had lost a tooth by falling.

They had waited patiently for the other to return from trips, visits, expeditions. They had known that they loved each other without ever having said it. They needed to make something of their lives. To consider themselves worthy of the other.

They made a silent promise to wait for the other. They promised that their lips would find each other's in the darkness and their hearts would forever be entwined by an unbreakable, invisible cord. They had promised all of this but never said it.

Both of them got busy with their lives, met new people, got smitten by new faces, got attracted to new souls. They remembered each other when someone touched their hands and asked for a key to their heart. They did not know if the other felt about them the way they felt. They spent an age apart and gave their lives the directions that they had desired.

When they finally met, in a different time and in a completely different situation, they did not know if they loved each other anymore. Had they been in love or was it just the romantic possibilities that had kept them waiting for the other all this time? They did not know if the happiness they felt was the glory of meeting an acquaintance or the peace of finding the keeper of your heart.

They looked at each other, unsure of the other's thoughts. Unsure of how they ought to react, what they should say.

He said her name, and she laughed at the way he said it. Their hearts had found the other and nothing more had to be said, questioned or explained.

Theirs had been a love separated by time but it had never lost its way.

Turning point in my life.

Of all the people i have known in my life, the two people i have been closest to were my grandparents. I spent 13 years of my life with my grandfather and my grandma continues to light up my world. Needless to say, i was devastated after my grandfather's death. For 3 whole years, i shuffled between bouts of depression and complete emotionlesness.
Perhaps it was guilt. Guilt of not being there in his final days, anger at being kept away in his final moments, regret of not telling him how much i loved him. We fail at telling people how much we love them and suddenly, it is too late. This should be the motto of humanity. We never appreciate what we have until we lose it.

He was the person who taught me everything. Talking, laughing, singing songs with messed up lyrics, the spelling of 'tuition', the fact that 2+6 and 3+5 both equal 8.... Everything. Living with grandparents made me feel weird around people my age, but i did not care then.

He was extremely friendly, in a way younger than me. I wish i had gotten that from him. He befriended whoever he came across, regardless of age, caste, profession or gender. He had way more friends than me, without internet, without mobile phones.

He was my father's father, but he has been my father too. I remember walking on village roads with him, telling him all about my life and looking at his amused expressions. He used to wake me up at 7 a.m. and play antakshari. It may sound weird, but it was a ritual.

All that went away. Teenage knocked at my door. I started getting annoyed at him for no reason. No matter how much i regret it now, it doesn't matter anymore. Regret and pain are just the siblings of death.

Yes, memories remain. But no matter how much i try to remember how his voice sounded, how wrinkles covered his hands, how he defeated me in morning-jogging-races, my mind fails me. I cannot remember the details. I cannot feel the same way again.

I guess i can call this a turning point in my life.
I lost a father.

listen, do not speak.

Can you just listen to me?
Listen to me and not speak
Not give me any advice
just listen, and keep mum.
I know that your fountain
of wisdom is full of pearls
for everyone you ever meet
but listen, do not speak.
I know I should be positive
and maybe my sorrow is small
maybe i do overthink
but listen, don't tell me this.
Keep your face free of scepticism
don't give me exasperated sighs
or 'everything-will-be-fine's
be attentive, don't talk.
Dont mock my misery
in front of other people
do not tell them of my sadness
keep it to yourself, hush.
The walls i have built
do not allow me to get too personal
but I have now done it
please dont give me regret.

People who live our lives

Scientists have proven that if you ask people for their suggestion on something, you will be guided not according to your ability or the requirement of the task, but depending on their personal desire. Okay no scientist ever said that, but dont bother going into details.

Do you ever feel that your life is not your own? Like someone has the reins to the metaphorical carriage of your life? Those people, the people who direct your life become the People Who Live Your Life.

 

You may think that your life is your own and you are its keeper but with people deciding what you should or shouldn't do, can you really claim your own life?

 

Man is a Social animal and we have heard this for a million times now. He has to keep in mind that he is on good terms with people,around him, keep people happy and be a part in the growth and development of his surroundings.

In the process of trying to maintain equilibrium, he ends up getting directions from ' meaning' people which in turn suffocates him.

 

Yes the peole are well meaning, mostly in their own minds, but well meaning nevertheless. It could be your parents making you choose a certain career for umpteen reasons, your friends who expect you to behave in a certain way, your teachers shaping you in ways that they see fit or anything.

 

All this is okay. Infact, it is necessary to a certain extent. Norms of societal behaviour make idealistic people, people with wisdom, people who care about others and think about their convenience or inconvenience. And that is good!

 

The real problem arises when people crush you so much that you forget to live. Your mind is full of their words, heart scared of their disapproval, souls confused of your own being. And where does that take you? All that gives you is depression and hopelessness In life.

 

You need to live your life first. Before you listen to how people want you to do something, you should know whether you want it or not. Whether you are doing it to please someone or because you want to.

 

And I am not suggesting you to become stubborn and stop listening to anyone at all. You should be able to distinguish between whats wrong and what is right. But the basic point remains that you NEED to do what your heart wants, first of all.

You must have heard things like 'Zindagi na milegi dobara' and 'Suno sabki, karo apne man ki'. Maybe you're bored of these phrases. I wish I could rephrase it into something catchy but nevermind that.

The basic truth remains that you need to make yourself happy and satisfied before you try to impact others' lives. If you do what you desire, and it does not turn out well, you may blame yourself but atleast you'll have the satisfaction of having done it. Thats all I have to say for now. Okbie.

what do you seek?

This is the first poem i have written in years. I won't be surprised if it comes across as juvenile or written on a whim. But i have been asked to present it by a few people so here it is. Again, do not over-expect.

----------------------------------------------------

Where will you go, with
your aching heart and tired mind?
Is it glory that you seek or
is it happiness that you wish to find?
Or do you hope to find 'her'
One who takes you into your world of dreams,
one who makes your reality worth bearing,
makes life better than it seems.
Get intoxicated by a whiff of her perfume,
Find heaven in the shade of her hair,
Seek life in every breath she takes
Fall deeper and deeper into her lair.
Entwine your soul with her fingers,
drink pleasure from her lips,
Feel bliss when she says your name,
your agony shredded and stripped.
Act stubborn to have her listen to your whims
Feel all your wounds healing under her care,
Enjoy her fussing over your existence,
wondering what it was like before you had her there.
Kiss away her tears and fears,
And find yourself healing,
As if all your sorrows have left too,
Made pain worthy of feeling.
What do you want, oh foolish heart
Do you want a little bit of love?
Is it glory that you seek or
Is it happiness that you wish to find.



 

I can't sleep at night



*This is an insight to my daily routine. Any similarity is unfortunate because it means that your sleeping pattern sucks as well.*

 

Its 12:30 am. AM means morning y'know.

What does AM stand for? Should Google.

 

Blah. Let me check out some Twitter profiles before i sleep.

Haha. *RT* *Star* *Interact with people*

Hmm.. People i was talking to have slept. Sheesh its late. Should sleep.

 

Can't sleep. Maybe playing some songs will help me sleep.

 

The lyrics are so awesome. I have an idea for a blog!

But i need to pee. And eat. So hungry.

 

Done with an article. Should check out Twitter once again.

This person looks interesting... I should read his blog.

Wow he writes so well. Should compliment.

 

What are the lyrics of this song that is playing in my ears???! Its so good.

Google!

Ooh. Lets check out the Youtube video for this song. One song and then I sleep.

 

Oh well. This channel looks cool. And its just 2:30 am yet. I can watch 2-3 more videos i guess.

 

OH shit its 4 am! Should keep my phone aside and sleep!

 

What am I doing with my life? What is life anyway?

Tomorrow will be another day. I shouldn't waste it.

When I saw abc the other day, it got so weird.

Gee, blah blah blah..

 

Someone's up? So early? What time is it anyway?

Oh hell Its 5am.

I swear I'll sleep early tomorrow onwards.

Wtf.

 

*Repeat*

 

You have a Twitter crush

When you are on Twitter, you constantly hear the term Twitter crush being thrown around. You hear....or shall I say read people swooning over their Twitter crush, in most cases not telling anyone who their crush is. Pretty basic, right?

So, I'll start my 'lesson' on Twitter crushes by explaining the two terms separately.

Twitter is the place where you talk to yourself hoping that someone will listen to what you just said. You throw around your jokes, witticisms, quotes, thoughts etc and wait for people to respond.....or die waiting. Umm..yeah. You gain a certain number of followers who are the people who choose to listen while you blabber and you follow people who you think you'll like to listen to. You DM people you want to sleep with...Loljk..thats optional. I could write more, but leave it at this.

Now, a crush is where you take something fragile and put pressure on it, probably break it.
Oh sorry. Wrong crush. Hmm... A crush is a person that you like but are afraid to tell, or don't like enough to start something serious with. You can basically like anything about them from their sadism to their kindness, wit to their beauty....basically anything. They can be of the same or opposite gender. And contrary to popular belief, a crush is not just someone that you want to fuck. You may admire that certain person, their beliefs or anything. In simple words someone that you are attracted to.

So, combining Twitter and crush, we get something called the Twitter crush. P.s. It is not a Twitter crush if you sit on a tweeple I.e. Person in Twitter lingo.

A Twitter crush is basically a person whose tweets, or sometimes DP you totally adore. Its a person whose account you check everyday for updates, whose tweets being RTd makes you smile, being mentioned by whom lights up your face, being RTd or starred by whom makes you proud... People tend to have crushes on twelebs, which is twitter celebrities because they are out of reach, just as in real life,we yearn for we can't get. But there is no limit to Twitter crushes. You can have one or a hundred, if you can remember all of them.

You can talk to your crush or calmly stalk their profiles. Probably people like this concept because the chances of meeting tweeples in real life are really low, though people exchange WhatsApp numbers before,anything nowadays.

All I can say is that enjoy your Twitter crushes. Who knows you may get your true love and write a book about it... Don't make me read that though, ok? Yeah, so the basic point is, like your real life crushes, enjoy your Twitter crushes too. Because a heart that doesn't crush is....I can't think of anything witty to say and I can't say anything much as I personally have no twitter crush as of now.

So that's pretty much it. Okbie.

 

SO you study arts? OH.

Arts students have to go through a variety of prejudices ranging form "You want to get married after college?" to "You didn't get through to the sciences or what?".

People supposedly have a hard time digesting the idea that a person with arts can be an intelligent person with some legitimate goal in life. Last week, I had relatives come over who did not hide their surprise at my opting for arts for my college education. They even asked my 12th grade marks commenting "Marks to theek the fir B.Tech kyun nahin liya?" (Your marks are fine. Why didn't you opt for B.Tech.)

Comments like this do not fail to annoy me. It is not a secret that most Indians prefer their children to study sciences even if they don't get jobs. After all it is SCIENCE with all those wonderful graphs and integrals and diagrams of the digestive system. Not taking any interest in studying sciences, or commerce is some families, is thought of as a declining interest in education. If someone desires on becoming an IAS officer or giving any other competetive  exam after graduation....or being a teacher, humanities still gets some approval. Otherwise, people prefer science as it will guarantee respect. Or maybe an MCA or an MBA.

As if making your parents understand your logic behind opting arts wasn't hard enough already.

Arts students are considered to be the dumbest species of students by many, many people. We are thought of as owners of immense freedom, timelessness..basically time wasting people. Yes we do not study all year long except for exams, but students of other fields are said to do the same. Okay we don't have sums to solve or theories to contradict, but we do have to understand logics that change every 10 years and learn quotes by people whose name many of our colleagues don't know.

Humanities gives you so many options! it has endless opportunities, infinite options! For Marx's sake students of other fields end up doing some course in humanities because it is rewarding.

Yes, maybe our education is the easiest in terms of level of toughness, but we too are occasionally forced to pull our hair out because of a certain Mr. Marx and his counterparts.

It is also true that many of us take up arts for the laughs and later join family businesses or get married but humanities gives everyone a lot of the much required exposure and common sense to lead our lives. And there are subjects like Maths and Economics in humanities so your argument is invalid.

We know how the world works, not in the sense of its molecular or anatomical configurations but the literal way. Psychology, Sociology, Political Sciences, Languages, all come under arts. Try living without those. We need to know the society we live in, the people who make it up, the reason why it is so. 

I do not wish to say that Humanities is the only best option or to force you to take it or something. All i want is for you to realise that it is just as important a subject and cannot be, WILL not be put down. and after all, It does not matter what subject you study. All that matters is intelligence and brilliance in whatever you do. 

Yeah well thats that. Don't be butthurt.

The Barney Stinson Syndrome

The Barney Stinson Syndrome, also popularly known as the Chandler Syndrome is a social condition of the generation of apathy from your acquaintances. This generally happens to people who joke around endlessly without caring much what others think. 

Every person the patient comes across may find them funny but the social group they belong to, completely considers them an idiot with little or no intelligence. Studies show that such people are generally immature and crave love and affection.

 These people are different from the attention seeking prototype in a way that though some of their actions are to demand attention, most of the time they're just trying to be funny. They tend to make some very good jokes which their friends, hereby tend to ignore. And this may generally irritate the audience since such characters are mostly the most loved characters.

50 Reasons Reading Is Wonderful

People keep asking me for reasons why I Like reading. I tell them the usual reason- "Because I LOVE TO READ. Because I CAN." and something along these lines. Sometimes the dreamier response, "Because books give me solace. A world much better than the one I live in". Not very convincing, eh? Even though I love books, I can not explain why!
I decided to Google it to maybe find some Funny or somewhat legitimate reasons for loving books. Tumblr has some given number of reasons, and so do some wonderful pages on Facebook, but I wasn't convinced enough. So I decided to write my own set of reasons for reading and loving books.

REASONS I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING:

1. Because there is a book written just for you.
2. Because reading makes your brain more developed and thinking more conventional
3. Because no matter what you read, it will teach you something or the other. Yes I mean it. Even *cough* Twilight *cough* and *cough* Fifty Shades *cough*
4. Because reading can make you cry or laugh and its a wonderful feeling.
5. Because you can visualize things and edit, choreograph them in your mind and you'll find it better than any other version.
6. Because books have that sweet, wonderful smell that should be bottled up and sold.
7. Because the book explained so much that wasn't even discussed in the movie. Yes. There is someone called Peeves in Harry Potter.
8. Because most books come out before the movie does.
9. Because then you can irritate your friends about how much better the book was.
10. Because you can yell during the movie: "THIS SCENE IS TOTALLY WRONG!" "THE KISS HAS BEEN CUT OUT" "Book Ginny was much better"
11. Because you can fall in love with a wonderful fictional character.
12. Because at one point people will understand your book love.
13. Because you can totally ignore people while reading and they'll think that either the book is too wonderful or you're too attentive.
14. Because you can dramatically glare at people from over your book and they'll have to shut up.
15. Because you'll find wonderful words that will improve your vocabulary and make you sound intelligent.
16. Because you can throw books at people when they annoy you if you have one at hand.
17. Because books will always wait for you to open them. Books don't get angry if you ignore them for months. They'll still be waiting.
18. Because books can help you make new friends. Both real and imaginary.
19. Because books will never betray you.
20. Because books will give you solutions or ideas to fight real world problems.
21. Because books will always be there when you ask for them.
22. Because people who read are automatically called intelligent. OK they might say you waste time but when you speak on what you know they'll shut up.
23. Because you can abuse people, referring  your books and they won't get it. "IF A DEMENTOR ATTACKED YOU, HE'D STARVE! YOU MUGGLE!"
24. Because you will find a wonderful land far far away where people would have understood your feelings, where intelligent life existed.
25. Because you'll get good grades on your English papers. Maybe others too.
26. Because some cute nerd guy or a total opposite will fall for your brains. *add to wishlist*
27. Because if you tell your parents that you're staying up to read, they'll most probably let you.
28. Because in a bus, bank, office, journey or an island etcetera, a book is great company.
29. Because they never run out of batteries or go out of signal.
30. Because reading makes writing better. And writing nurtures emotions.
31. Because you'll get allowed to jump up and down hearing about authors. 
32. Because you'll know more than anyone else.
33. Because you parents won't yell at you when you're busy reading. *terms and conditions applied. HEY! They did ask you to run an errand. And exams are somewhat important.
34. Because they sometimes make you realise that you have a better life than many people.
35. Because no one died of reading books.
36. Because you'll probably be able to make better Facebook statuses and tweets. Worked for me. (Refer point 30)
37. Because there are so many (yyyyyyyyyyy) books to be read.
38. Because your future kids deserve better, more intelligent parents. Not people who can't get enough photos in bathrooms.
39. Because you will be well versed in many other walks of life.
40. Because you'll be able to think clearer. Not just what is fed to you.
41. Because whatever job you do, reading will help. Yeah I am somewhat hinting at "How to impress Your Boss"
42. Because they tell you more about life than anyone else can. I learned about sex from books for that matter. Not advisable.
43. Because your imagination has a better resolution than technology has come up with.
44. Because the tale of the Half Blood Prince needs to be heard in a better way!!!!
45. Because your battery just died and there is no electricity and its raining!
46. Because libraries keep beckoning you....say holla-ing at you.
47. Because Books were written to be read!
48. Because you were taught to read. DUH!
49. Because life is all about reading. Whether you read books, emotions, faces, expressions, mathematical plots, statistical graphs, fashion sense....you are meant to read!
50. Because you already read gossip columns, movie reviews, sports articles, fashion statements...why not try a book? Who knows you might make a best friend just like that.

I am not suggesting that you're unintelligent if you don't read. Or that you can be Sheldon Cooper by reading itself. Everyone is meant to have a certain hobby which may not be reading. This is a suggestive post to the hobby of reading. But if you love reading and would read than do anything else, then I hope these reasons are some of the many reasons you love to read. And if you don't like reading, I guess you have your own reasons.

If you have some more reasons to love reading, please share them with me. because I'd love to read.